There's winter outside, and definitely winter inside me. Sitting inside yourself is at times challenging... What the pain is actually calling for is to accept the darkness. Recently my body has been giving me all sort of signals and I realised I am only beginning to act upon them once they get really strong. I figured I wish to do it differently.. to attune myself to subtle messages of the body and honour my intuition more. Much more. Because in truth - the body always knows. I began to film a body movement series, which is a tribute to this personal healing that I'm going through. When the body asks, what do you do? I dance.
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I've been hesitating to upload these videos and finally decided to do it, because... dance used to be my language it used to be my heart a way to connect and fly away. I was dedicated to it lost in it found in it.. I was a full time dancer an every day dancer.. I was embodied ! and then as soon as I got pregnant... I abandoned it. I still danced and i even remember dancing with a full-bloom belly somewhere in the city park in Katowice, Poland. But it was rare... suddenly it was so rare Where before you'd find me dancing - it was my natural state - i became still. And the stillness was needed, yet something was missing. And the most weird of all of this, is that my child was asking me to dance from the very beginning. I remember the first feelings and awareness of that little being inside me, it asked me: dance, mama, I want you to dance. But i was afraid to jump and bend not to damage the fetus. I wasn't sure what was allowed. I've stripped myself off permission to be fully alive in motion.. * So here's a reminder for myself.. and perhaps for you.. to be silly. go bananas. dance. right now. do it today. feel your body as it is. Let it bend and twist and bounce, spin in circles let the rhythms engulf you so you can feel whole again. "Dance, dance, otherwise we are lost!" (Pina Bausch, 1940-2009) PS. The songs:
"Ptaki" by Krystyna https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qmuFKbWsZmI Peter Gabriel - "In Your Eyes" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kU8OJAOMbPg |
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